Well that happened…

I never ever ever ever thought I would be writing this post. This is truly one of the most “out of my comfort zone” type posts I have ever written. This may be one of my hardest posts to actually sit down and write…

Not because it holds some huge emotional revelation like other posts I have written…

Not because I have a great weight loss goal or fitness goal I hit…

But because I did something on Friday I never thought would be in my realm of possibility.

We all know my hatred and DREAD of purchasing bathing suits - I think I have that well documented on here.

Well, something came over me this past week. I started thinking maybe I will go try a different type of bathing suit on. You know before they whisk them all away. Could get a good deal on one for next summer … so I’m not wearing the same one every time.

So I decided it was time to try on a new style.

What? What other type could I possibly handle since I barely rock a tankini?

Bikini

Yes, you people read that right.

I, Dani Holmes-Kirk, had made the decision that I would try on a bikini.

What really led to the decision? I had no idea.

Maybe I was feeling good since I was back on track with my eating and workout habits or maybe I was losing my mind before turning the Big 3-0!

But whatever it was … I was on a mission.

Plus, I had to do it before I changed my mind.

I didn’t tell anyone my game plan in case I chickened out.

My Friday started out on the normal path: home weigh-in, lead the 8am Weight Watchers meeting, drop by the bank, do my swim workout … then I treated myself to a much-needed hair appt followed by a mani/pedi.

After fully pampering myself for a couple hours … it was time.

I drove over to Sports Authority and headed to the bathing suit section.

I found a top and bottom combination I liked and headed into the fitting room.

The whole time my heart was beating out of my chest.

Was I really about to go THIS far out of my comfort zone?

Apparently the answer was YES!

I went into the fitting room, locked the door and prepared to see myself in a bikini.

And…

… it wasn’t the total disaster I had built up in my head.

I quickly snapped a pic and put my comfortable and comforting Lululemon outfit back on.

I stood in the fitting room for a good 5 minutes just staring in the mirror and smiling.

I had faced one of the biggest demons in my mind … and won!

I tried it on – survived – and even made the decision to buy the suit.

Now this suit may NEVER see the light of day, but I really bought it as a symbol of how far I have come in the last three years.

That bit of fabric symbolizes that despite the ups and downs throughout the journey … no matter what I am so far from where I started.

So I bought it.

I sent the pic to a few trusted friends to get their thoughts … and to shock them that I actually tried it on.

Their feedback calmed me down and reassured me that I was okay to be happy with what I saw in the mirror staring back at me.

Every time I look at that suit, I smile. I am so much stronger, outgoing and fearless than I was three years ago … and I couldn’t be happier.

Now, I work on my core and tightening up some of the excess skin I have from the weight loss so that maybe one day I will wear the bikini … around the house while I clean.

Okay okay maybe I will wear it in public … only time will tell.

—

But the real question that floated around in my head this weekend as I prepared to write this post was …

Do I post the pic of me in the bikini across the web or do I keep it buried in my phone and in the phones of a select group of trusted friends?

And in the inner debate ended with this … this wouldn’t be a truly revealing post unless I braved the world and posted the pic.

So friends, here it is: