Truth Tuesday

I finally made it to a meeting. I lost 0.2 lbs... Starting Weight: 217.4

Today's Weight: 166.2

Total Lost: 51.2

Pounds From Goal: 2.2

I was beyond thrilled to see a loss. Even a miniscule loss like 0.2 lbs made my day. I had such a horrendous time in AZ – eating wise – that I have been working everyday to make up for it. I am on Day Nine of my #7daychip. For this #7daychip, I did not allow myself to use any of my weekly or activity points … and I am did it! It really feels good when I complete a challenge. Obviously, Weight Watchers puts the points there for us to use, but there are times where I want to show myself that I don’t need them. I can live my life and feel satisfied without them. As I type that, I realize that for the next week I will definitely be using them as I actually have plans out of the house Wednesday-Saturday. A rarity for me :P

I also just feel really healthy overall. I have taken hitting the 5 food-related healthy checks wicked seriously. (I listen to my body on the activity so I don’t hit that everyday). My body is appreciating it for sure. I was having some stomach issues concerning the dairy, but since switching to soy milk – everything is a-okay. :)

This morning I used my wife’s new fancy scale from Runkeeper for the first time. It is seriously cool. It has wifi and sinks up to an account without you needing to input any info. I mean it can tell the difference between her standing on the scale and me. The reason I got her the scale is 1) because she loves gadgets, but 2) because we always wondered how our body fat % measured up to where it should be. I found out this morning my BMI is 25 (healthy range starts at 24.9) and my body fat % is 34.7 (healthy range for a woman my age starts at 33). So I am really close to being in the healthy range on both of those accounts for the first time in my adult life. That is a pretty cool thing to realize. I know many people don’t put a lot into BMI, and I don’t either. I have just used it as yet another measuring stick in my weight loss journey. Plus, I wanted to prove to myself that I could get into the healthy range.

I am someone whose mood definitely reflects what happens on the scale. If I gain, I am down for the rest of the day (if not longer). But, if I lose, I am happy go lucky and ready to tackle anything. J But, I don’t always want to live and die by the number on the scale. I have been reading a lot of blog posts by ex-Biggest Loser contestants who have almost all said they stopped weighing themselves after their finale. Will I ever make it to that point? Where I can trust myself to just live “by how I feel – not by a number?” I would like to, but at this point. It is keeping me motivated. Maybe once I hit lifetimes and only need to weigh in once a month, I can change. But for now, the scale and I are friends … or enemies … frenemies?

How did everyone else do on their Tuesday weigh-in? I love giving out some virtual Bravos!! :)

Half Marathon Training Update

I cannot believe the Chicago Rock ‘n Roll Half Marathon is just 20 days away! Seriously, where has the time gone? Well, today I tackled an 11-mile run … and I use tackle literally. It was a battle. My back hurt, my foot hurt, I felt fatigued. I hated my music. It was rough. I wanted to stop and walk many times, but I didn’t. I kept saying to myself “Finish What You Start.” And I kept going…

I started at about 5:30am this morning to try and beat some of the heat. I wanted to finish in 2 hours or less, but failed L I came in at 2:02.19 (11:06 min/mile). I think I can blame some time on my water stops along the way, but either way I didn’t hit my goal. But, that is okay. I am really proud of myself for finishing the 11 miles just three days shy of the 6-month mark from back surgery. Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

I didn’t have a belt for water or any Gu/gummies. I was supposed to go purchase both this weekend, but my back was acting up. So after work each day, I hit the couch to rest. But, after today. I will be sure to get those supplies before August 1’s 12-mile run!

I was actually so dizzy/weak on the walk home I had to stop and sit along the sidewalk for a couple minutes. Three different people stopped to ask if I was okay, which I thought was so nice … and rare in this society!

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An additional note on my run, I saw a dead body. Yes, you read that correctly. I ran within like 3 feet of a dead body along the Chicago Lakeshore.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/chi-mans-body-found-near-lake-shore-drive-bike-path-20110725,0,6879352.story

When I ran by at 5:45 there were 2 bodies and they both just looked asleep. I mean homeless people sleep there all the time. Then I wondered as I ran if maybe they were dead. I mean you never know. Then I came back around 7 miles later and bam 7 cop cars and only one body there – covered with a sheet.

He just looked like he was sleeping so I wasn’t bothered by it. A chick near me was a tad more shaken up – she called her mom about it. I was like dude, not like you knew him. (Can you tell I am a heartless city girl? :P) Also, no way I was telling my parents about it. They would not want me running there anymore … and I love that route! :))

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I owe a big thanks to the wife for having a legit stein of water waiting for me when I got home. Here is how the run affected me to be:

What A Difference

So I went to Ryan Dempster's Casino Night on Wednesday and the theme was "Vegas Chic." Anyone that knows me, knows I have NOTHING that fits in that category. So, all I knew was - it was dress time. I had two options: the Old Navy black dress I had just worn Sunday night or my Iowa wedding dress. Well, my fashion consultant Melissa said to go with the wedding dress.  Wednesday was just the second time I had worn it since Iowa (used it for a fancy party in January). I had figured out the other day I had dropped about 20ish pounds since we got married so I was really hoping the dress fit a lot looser ... and it did. I didn't realize the difference until I pulled up the pictures this morning.

Here they are...

(Day I bought the dress- october 16, 2010)

Now the actual comparisons:

 and

NOW, I notice the difference. I mean look at my face in particular. It takes something like this for me to really sit back and say, "Wow! I am accomplishing something."

Well, this was just something that popped into my head and wanted to see the pictures side by side.

I will post more later on "taking pictures" and how that has changed for me over the past year and a half...

Truth Tuesday

So unfortunately there wasn’t a truth Tuesday last week since I was in Arizona for work…  

… and this week I was stuck to my desk during our meeting time so I had to take a “no weigh-in.”

BUT, I promise. I will be attending meeting and weighing in next week for sure!

This has been a busy couple weeks with travel and work so I haven’t had as much time to blog as I would like. There hasn’t been too much new really.

I would like to wish my wife a belated Happy Birthday (it was yesterday). She turned the big 31 going on 12 … as you can tell by the shirt :P

 

Non-scale win for the week was comfortably wearing a dress from 2007. I wore it a couple times last year, but still felt it was a little too snug so I hid behind a wrap/shawl. But, when I put it on Sunday night it felt good … a little roomy even!

 

So I was all happy and positive until this morning when someone proceeded to yell “fat a$$” at me while I walked to work. I also had someone legitimately “moo” at me a few nights ago as I walked home. Wow! Really people? But, as soon as I heard the comments. It brought me back to ninth grade when I was standing on the street with my mom waiting for the bus and someone barked at me. That moment still haunts me to this day. I also remember leaving a bar near my house inChicagoa couple years back and a group of guys also made some comments to me about how heavy I was. Ouch. I mean, I was at my heaviest at the time, but that never gives anyone the right to make those comments to anyone else.

So as I celebrated fitting in to the dress above and feeling good about myself, BAM! All the insecurities have taken over my mind today. Can people really notice I lost weight? Is this all in my head? Man, I shouldn’t have slept in instead of hitting the gym this morning. How much more do I need to lose before the comments will stop?

I know. I shouldn’t let people’s comments get to me, but sometimes – ok a lot of times – it is hard to shut those little voices off.

I do owe a thank you to the friends who have given me some positive words today despite the awful morning…

Half MarathonTraining Update

Last night I created my own 10k (6.2 mile) route and it was awesome. It was my first outdoor run at night. I was a little nervous when I turned around after the first 5k that the sun would be right on me, but thankfully it was hidden by the building along the lake. Thank youChicagoand your tall buildings! :) I actually felt really comfortable during the whole run, despite some tightness in my hamstrings. I was able to finish 6.2 miles in 59:48, which works out to 9:39 min/mile. That is by far my best pace for a distance that long. I was really happy when I saw that on the Runkeeper application when I finished.

I did learn that I cannot eat, even an apple, within an hour of running. The apple caused a nice cramp in my side right around mile 4, but I powered through. I just kept telling myself “Finish what you started.”

Next week’s long run is 11 miles. Just trying to figure out if I should do it Sunday (July 24) at night or wait and do it Monday morning (July 25). Only time will tell…  ;)

I cannot believe the half marathon is less than a month away! Just three more long training runs until the event (11 miles, 12 miles then 8 miles).

Inspired by P!nk

So yesterday while doing my run, P!nk’s F*ckin’ Perfect came on. I have listened to this song hundreds of times being the big P!nk fan that I am, but for some reason certain lyrics really hit me yesterday…  

-- You're so mean, When you talk about yourself, You are wrong. Change the voices in your head Make them like you instead.

So complicated, Look how big you'll make it! Filled with so much hatred Such a tired game. It's enough, I've done all I can think of Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same. [ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/p/pink/in_perfect.html ] Oh, Pretty, pretty please Don't you ever, ever feel Like your less than f*ckin' perfect. Pretty, pretty please If you ever, ever feel Like your nothing You're f*ckin' perfect to me.

The whole world stared so I swallowed the fear, The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer. So cool in line and we try, try, try, But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time. Done looking for the critics, coz they're everywhere They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair We change ourselves and we do it all the time

Why do we do that? Why do I do that? (Why do I do that?)

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It is really true? I agree with her. I don’t honestly know why I am so hard on myself? Why am I so mean to myself? As soon as I do something wrong, the first thought in my head is “you’re an idiot.” It really shouldn’t be that way, but as I have written before I don’t know how to change that. Maybe because the negative thinking as been my way of life for so long that it takes more time to end the cycle?

I am learning through this process (surviving back surgery, training for the half marathon, losing weight, etc) that I am much stronger than I give myself credit for. I can do more than I think I can. I can complete any task I put my mind to.

So why do I always put myself down? Why can I only find the faults, while the rest of the world can see the positives?

I really want to be one of those super confident people, but I just can’t figure out how to do that. I wish there was a little switch in my head that I could turn on and confidence would exude from my mind. But, I don’t think doctors have discovered that yet.

Honestly, whenever someone gives me a compliment. My brain automatically goes into a different mode: “They are obviously trying to butter me up to ask for something. What do they want?” “Are they really trying to tell me this looks bad?” “They are just telling me that to being nice.”

I want to be able to live like the song lyrics, but for some reason, my brain just cannot think positively or accept a compliment for what it is…

Belated #7daychip :)

Dress

So today I went out on a limb. I wore a dress to work. This may be the first time I have ever done it. Annnd I am surviving :) I once again owe Lindsey a shoutout for picking it out and making me try it on/buy it!

*Please forgive the lack of make-up* :)

10-miler

I want to thank everyone who gave me some running suggestions this week. I will be sure to incorporate them in the upcoming weeks. This morning I set my alarm for 4:45am and was at the lake by 5:15 to get my run on. I started at 5:25am and that made a HUGE difference. It was nice and cool. There was a slight breeze. The lakefront trail was not as busy as it was on Monday. In a word: perfect.

The entire run I felt great. I didn’t feel dehydrated or rundown at all. So there is definitely a huge benefit to running in the morning.

I was able to complete my first 10-mile run since 2006 in 1:45.56, which translates to 10:35 min/mile. I will DEFINITELY take that. I was super impressed with myself.

I only had to stop for water once and didn’t feel any pangs of hunger. But I know I will have to load up with jellies or gu and the little water bottle belt before the actual race since it begins at 8am.

I am aiming to finish the Half in under 2:30. I will be happy with that. Heck, I will be happy with anything. I mean, I had back surgery not six months ago and I was able to run 10 miles today. I can do anything. :P

The entire run I kept thinking to myself, “Wow! You are definitely stronger than you give yourself credit for.” I could’ve easily snoozed the alarm or come up with some excuse not to run. But, I didn’t. I happily put my running clothes and my sneakers on and hit the trail.

I will say the downer was getting hit on by some short guy on the way to theLake. I mean, really folks. What guy is going to hit on a girl at 5am? Also, can you get the hint when I said “my wife” about 15 times? Lordie. :P

I will leave you with the view I had while stretching this morning…

Shopping Trip

I hate shopping. Always have and most likely always will. I am not just talking clothes shopping. I can include grocery shopping, shoe shopping, etc etc. But my good friend Lindsey kept telling me I had to finally buckle down and buy some new clothes that fit. She planned a trip out fromBostonfor June 24-26 and told me shopping at her favorite store (Ann Taylor Loft) would be involved. I was dreading it, but knew it had to be done. So on June 25 after a kick ass Proud To Run 5k, I finally agreed that we could go shopping. Dread dread dread. Now a little background, Linds and I have been friends since 2001. Technically even longer since we danced together when wee little nuggets, but I digress. Linds has seen me go through it all. The weight gain, the weight loss, the weight gain, the eating disorders, the depression. You name it she saw me go through it. So it was extremely meaningful that she be there to help me do my first real “smaller size” shopping trip. (Also note, Linds has been doing Weight Watchers since 2001 as well. She is a great success story and an inspiration to me.)

So we walked into the store and her little eyes lit up like it was Christmas and she was off. I slunk behind her like the husband who was being dragged shopping instead of being allowed to sit home and watch the game.

I let her pick out the items, but I grabbed the sizes. The biggest ones they had in the store since obviously those would be the only ones that might fit. Right? So I walk into the changing room with my XL shirt and size 14 pants. All while Linds is saying, “those are going to be too big.” I wouldn’t hear it.

Damn! She was right. Okay okay. Let’s try the L shirt and size 12 pants. Those will fit then since maybe the sizes run big. It happens, right? All while Linds is still saying, “those are going to be too big.” I still wouldn’t hear it.

Damn again! She was right … and gloating! So then she brings me the M shirt and size 10 pants. I am thinking there is NO way in HELL those are fitting. I haven’t worn size 10 since probably middle school. But, they did! Wha? I. Was. In. Shock!

Here I am modeling the outfit!

 

I told this story to my leader, Lisa, and she said after all her time, she will still go into a store and pick out the largest sizes they have and try them on and realize, “Nope! Too big.”

But what a feeling. It was awesome. I am currently wearing the outfit at work and feeling great. I don’t feel like people are looking at me and saying, “That girl shoulda bought a smaller size.” Nope. These fit juuuust right!

Now to tackle that whole bathing suit issue…