Ras na hEireann 5k – 3/18/12 – 24:33 (7:54 min/mile)

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So after a ton of knee pain at the F^3 Lake Half on January 28, I scaled my running back during the month of February. It was actually the first month I didn't run a road race since back surgery recovery (so May 2011). But, I had signed up for the Ras na hEireann as soon as we decided we were moving back to Boston officially. Why you might ask? Well, it was actually the first road race I ever did (March 2005) and I wanted to show myself how much I had improved in those seven years of losing weight/exercising/running. Also exciting about this race is it would mark the wife's first race in Boston and my cousin Jen's first road race ever. Yay! I love new runners!! :)

I honestly didn't know what to expect on race day since my knee was sore every time I attempted a run since the Half (twice), but I knew I would try my hardest to beat my first time in this race ... 38:21. Going in to the day my new PR was set on New Year's Day 2012 with 25:27.

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I actually decided to dress up for this run...

I think it was only the second time I had run in shorts - I usually hate them - but I think this time was different since I had my running pants on underneath.

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The race didn't start til 11am, which I am not a big fan of. Mainly because I never eat at the right times. I just can't get the timing down. I like the races where you just get up and run then I eat after. But, anyway, the weather was amazing - sunny and not really cloud in the sky. Pretty uncharacteristic for Boston in March.

As I mentioned before, I haven't run this race since March 2005, but the course was thankfully pretty similar so I had a gauge of how far I was at each turn. Also this race was in Somerville, MA (my hometown) so I was pretty familiar with where we were. ;)

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I was surprised, and happy, to see pace marker corrals before the Start Line. Since I wasn't sure how I would be running, I parked myself in between the 8 and 9 minute mile. Since my cousin was hitting about 9 and a half minute miles, I had her start up with me. It is always easier to be passed than bob and weave to get ahead of the large crowd (there were over 4,000 participants).

Per usual, I couldn't hear a darn thing they were saying, but all of a sudden heard the gun. We were far enough back that we could do the little jog-walk-jog-walk dance we all do until we hit the actual Start Line. I had both of us start our Runkeeper/Nike as soon as we crossed the line ... and we were off. Yes, I left my cousin almost as soon as I crossed the Start Line. Hey! I saw an opening in the crowd so I had to take it.

It was so nice to be running through the old neighborhoods that I know so well, but have been away from for the past five years. There were bagpipers along the first street, which added some entertainment.

As I was nearing the first 5 minute marker on my Runkeeper, the little voice let me know I was at a 8:07 pace. Sweet, that would be a PR. Awesome! So I kept plugging along...

With each reminder and mile marker, I was realizing I wasn't feeling any knee pain. I kept expecting it to kick in. There was a little tenderness at the downhill parts, but I expected that.

As I hit Mile One, my Runkeeper told me I was at a 7:57 pace (or something like that). I think I yelled a nice four letter profanity in shock! I have NEVER run a sub 8 minute/mile. Then I started thinking my Runkeeper must've been thrown off by the houses or something. But the mileage was spot on. Usually if it gets wacky it is the mileage that is thrown off, which will throw off the pace. But nope, mileage was spot on.

So as I hit Mile Two, I realized I had zero knee pain, I was slightly thirsty since the sun was REALLY beating down on us, I was going to hit a PR AND I quite possibly was going to have a sub 8 minute/mile pace. OH I think that threw me into a new gear and I hauled booty during that final mile. I kept thinking about how cool it would be to cut 14 minutes off my first race time.

I took the final turn and could see the finish line just down the street. I hit the 3 mile mark and then I saw my dad and my cousin's boyfriend Nick ready to take pics. So I got myself to the correct side of the street and threw my hands up as I was running (yes, working it for the camera).

Crossing the Finish Line felt AMAZING. More amazing than many of my other races for sure. I was SOOOO proud of myself. Never ever in a million years did I think I would ever run that fast.

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I ended up posting a PR of 24:33, which translated to 7:54 minute/mile pace. I might've JUST snuck under the 8 min/mile, but I will freakin' take it.

I was eighth out of 115 in my division and 751st overall out of 4,367...

It was like a dream!! I amazed myself with what I accomplished. I cut off almost 14 minutes from my first 5k time - at the same race - so surreal. I did cut off 54 seconds from my latest PR, which had been set on New Year's Day.

Wow!

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Jen did a freakin' awesome job in her first 5k, finishing in 29:07, and Tori rounded out the group with a time of 36:09.

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You know four things I love: running, PRs, medals and beer! ;)

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This was the best race I could've done as my first "welcome back to Boston" run! It is one I will for sure continue to run for years to come...

What Strangers See...

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I was thinking this morning as I walked in to the Weight Watchers meeting I was about to observe that when people see me now (outside of a WW setting) - they just see me as the person standing in front of them: a healthy, confident, outgoing, sort of slim person, who enjoys going to the gym, Spinning and running. They have absolutely no idea how far I have come to be the person I have today. They have no concept of the "old me."

This just hit me this morning - yes I am a tad slow on the uptake okay - you would think I would've realized this grand concept a long time ago.

But, I think I am just so immersed in my own journey, chatting with so many of the same friends and family that saw me at the beginning that I forget when a new person meets me on the street - I just look like me. To them, there is no "old me" or "new me"! It is just a crazy concept to me.

It is like starting with a clean slate, yet for some reason I have been finding the need to explain to people that I haven't always looked like this. I want to share how far I have come. I want to tell them how I still struggle to overcome not one but two eating disorders on a daily basis, but I do it. I want to thrust that darn "before" picture in their face and show them how far I have come.

Why do I feel the need? Why can't I just embrace the new me fully?

Well, there is still a lot of emotional baggage I need to work through I think. The same thing that many people who take on this roller coaster we call "weight loss" need to do. It isn't something that happens overnight.

I mean, it is super easy when I am at work for people to understand and appreciate what I have done to be where I am now. But when I just ran to the grocery store, the person ringing me up probably just thought I really like fruit. :P Whereas, I want to share with her my life story. Unnecessary.

But, I think for me. I want to explain myself to people. I think it stems from when I was really overweight and I would look at the skinny girls at the gym and just be envious. I would look at them and think "Why Can't I Be Naturally Skinny?" But you know what? I don't know where they have come from. They might be in the same boat I was once in. They might've started out at my weight or heavier.

Why was I so quick to pass judgement on them and snark "Why Don't You Just Eat A Hamburger?" to the size 0 woman on the treadmill. I was obviously in the mindset where I thought every skinny person was naturally that way and I projected my unhappiness on to them.

But, then on that fateful November 2, 2009 - I took my life into my own hands. Over the course of this journey, I have learned to look at people MUCH differently.

It's funny. I now look at every person walking down the street and wonder what their story is. I am not as quick to judge the other people at the gym because you know what - I don't want them judging me. I am turning my snarky comments into positive ones: "Wow, that person is running so fast on the treadmill - that is awesome."

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I don't know other people's journeys to where they got the place they are in their life. I am happy seeing people as people and learning about where they want to go. I love hearing about what you have all accomplished. This social media is a great forum to share our highs and our lows.

So when you are out and about today, take the time to change one snarky comment you might make about someone into a positive one ... because you don't know how hard they have worked to be where they are...

Truth Tuesday - 0.4 lb Loss

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Hello All! Well after a two week hiatus from the scale I am back and going to remain coming back each week. I have realized I am not the type of person that can handle once a month weigh-ins. Have we figured out I am slightly OCD and very "right brained"? ;) Anywho... I got back to business this week after slacking the week before after hitting Lifetime. I had a bit of a good old food meltdown on Thursday, which kicked my smaller booty into gear! So Thursday through Monday I was ON, I mean each day I: hit all 6 of my Weight Watchers Healthy Guidelines, worked out min 30 min, hit my DPT of 26, hit 100oz of water, did my #plankaday and tracked/blogged/Tweeted/Facebook my Food Log. And can I tell you all something? I felt amazing! I felt like I had just started WW all over again. That fun feeling in the beginning where you are all bright eyed and bushy tailed and eager. I felt satisfied, accomplished and just overall in control. Now I know I am not keeping this up forever since we know I love those 49 weekly points, I mean 49 wine points, too much not to use them. But it was a little check I needed to do.

(Note: The best part of this week was that I didn't beat myself up over what happened on Thursday. I woke up the next morning and instead of beating myself up, I came up with a game plan of how to get myself back on track and stuck to it. The old me would've called myself every name under the sun and said if I messed up this day why not just say "To Hell" with the rest of the week. New me? NOPE! I said it is a NEW DAY and I moved on. I give myself a *Bravo* for that!)

And boy did it help! I lost 0.4 lbs (which doesn't seem like a lot to some people), but I am in the maintenance time of my life so that little loss was what I needed to be back to my goal weight exactly. When I hit Lifetime I was 0.4 lbs above it. I mean that is nothing, plus for WW standards I just need to remain within 153-157 lbs.

For my psyche, it just ended a streak of three-consecutive gains, which I don't think I had ever experienced before.

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Today: Loss 0.4

Starting Weight: 217.4

Today’s Weight: 155.0

Total Lost: 62.4

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The implosion on Thursday was exactly what I needed to snap my slacker self back to reality. I was slowly slipping back to old habits that had brought me to Weight Watchers in the first place and I didn't like it.

So now I am happy to be back on the upswing, each week, each day, each meal will not be perfect, but I will work to be the best I can be. :)

I have found a WW meeting of my own to attend (Tuesday 10am in Malden) and could not be happier. It is so nice to take your WW receptionist hat off for an hour and get back to why you joined in the first place - to be a member and to feel involved in the meeting.

I cannot put in to words how much happier I am now that I have my own meeting to attend and I am falling back into a nice pattern. My Tuesday has now become my favorite day of the week ... and also my "Super WW" day. How you may ask? Well, here is the rundown:

6am Spinning with my girl Jess - aka Last Chance Workout

7am Weigh-in on Home Scale

8am Weigh-in officially at WW Boston Store with Alverson

8:15am Grab my much needed Dunkin Iced Coffee ;)

10am Attend my now weekly WW meeting with Heather

Noon-3:45 Me time - blog/run errands/chill with the pups/unwind

4pm Head to work

5-8pm Work the 6pm WW meeting and open hours

How about that for a powerful/motivating/positive day?

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After chatting/emailing with my Territory Manager (Elaine) today and sitting with my WW coach (who will help me with the training to be a Leader), I just know I made the right decision this year. I feel so happy to call Weight Watchers my home. Helping, teaching, listening, cheering, consoling and motivating people in such an important and personal journey is an honor to me!

I thank you all for helping me see that! You have all given me the strength to make the Leap with your support and encouragement...

Why Keep Going?

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This morning I was weighing in a Weight Watchers member who had hit the 25 lb weight loss mark. After I stopped celebrating (I get a tad too excited when it comes to milestones/charms/stickers), I asked her what her next goal was. She had no idea. She said she was at a loss for what to shoot for next since she never thought she would've hit this milestone in her journey. As she pondered what she was going to set as her next goal, I thought to myself: Why Keep Going?

When you have hit a goal in your journey, why keep pushing? Why find the set another milestone?

The obvious answer is you need another goal to keep yourself on track. If you don't set the next mark you want to hit, people tend to slide back and the commitment starts to waiver. If you don't look ahead, you could become complacent and start to slip back in to old habits, which could result in gaining the weight back.

The one that definitely gets me is: Settling for the current goal you hit and as a result forever wondering "Could I have done more?"

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For me, I hit all the big marks I wanted to hit: 25 lbs lost, 40 lbs lost, 50 lbs lost, First Goal Weight Met, 60 lbs lost, Final Goal Weight Met, Being Hired by Weight Watchers and finally Lifetime. So if I have basically hit all the major goals I strived for...

What pushes me to continue on this weightloss/fitness journey I am on?

After rereading my Out of Control post from Friday (after Thursday's binge), I took the time to think about why I keep going since I don't have a number I am pushing to see on the scale and here are some of the things I found:

1) I had major back surgery in January 2011 (herniated disc removed in my L4-L5) and the doctor said to me that the more weight I keep off my back - the less pressure will be put on the surgically repaired area and the less likely I would be to re-injure that same spot. How can the strength of my back not be the Number One reason to keep up with my healthy lifestyle...

2) Continue to work for Weight Watchers and remaining Lifetime. To stay Lifetime with WW and an employee, I need to weigh in once a month within two pounds of my goal weight (153-157). In addition, I need to be in that range to hope to one day fulfill my dream of being a WW Leader.

3) Looking at all the wonderful new clothes I have bought and wanting to continue to fit in to them. I don't like to waste money so growing out of these cute clothes would be a huge blow to how far I have come...

4) To remain an example to others currently pushing through their own weightloss journeys that with hard work and determination they too will be able to succeed. Between Twitter, Facebook and this blog, I am constantly inspired and motivated by people who are making the choice to live a healthier lifestyle and I want to continue to be a part of their journeys as well as share my own...

5) So I can continue to relish in new Non-Scale Victories...

and finally one of the biggest...

6) I hope to stay as happy as I am now for the rest of my life. For so long, I couldn't stand the body I was in. I didn't like who I was. I was hiding behind layers of protection. Now? I am one confident, ass kicking, bad ass, running fool ... and I love it! I love that I am finally starting to like ... understand ... and even love: the geeky, slightly OCD, gym rat that I am...

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When you stop to think and are at a loss for:

*why you keep getting up at 5am to hit the gym for work

*why you take the time to preplan your meals for the week

*why you stay in every once in awhile to get a good night sleep before a road race

...just think about why you keep going!

#7daychip - Number Nine

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I like that I am now collecting #7daychips the way I collect race medals ;) For this chip, I made the following commitment:

1) To hit the 5 Weight Watchers Food Healthy Guidelines each day

2) To complete at least one plank per day (#plankaday)

3) To drink at least 100oz of water per day (#100ozchallenge)

4) To write down/track everything I ate each day - even if I didn't figure out the PP value, I at least had to fess up to what I ate my writing it down, blogging it & Facebook/Tweeting it.

Out Of Control...

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I am indebted to my parents for allowing the wife, the pups and I to invade their home as we adjust to life in Boston and try to save money over the next five months (our game plan is to be in our own place by September), but being in someone else's house is wreaking havoc on my will power/will power/WW game plan! When Tori and I were in Chicago, we were in our own apartment and could control all food entering the house. I was able to ward off the "high point" trigger food and keep it at bay. And really? If "bad" food was brought in to the house by Tori, it wasn't something I usually wanted to eat so I was able to withhold from "attacking/binging" on it.

But, now? We are in someone else's space and living with two people who are not eating as healthy as I am. Which is leading to a lot of my trigger foods now being in my space. There are foods here - like Hershey Chocolate - that I haven't thought about eating in years, but I find myself craving them now. Now that I see them.

I know. I control what goes in to my body, but lately I have felt weak. I have been giving in to all these late night "cravings." I don't even think these are honestly cravings, but they are now creeping into my thoughts.

So I need to get control. I need to stop letting boredom - trigger foods - unhealthy habits creep back into my life. I have worked TOO hard to let anything derail me now.

Last night is a perfect case in point. Did I need to eat those chips or that chocolate at 9pm? Nope. Was it even that good? Nope. It was just because it was there ... and I have been in that cycle for the first month back in Boston.

Well, it stops today! I am taking back the control. I am getting back to basics. I am putting away the fake "cravings." I am getting recommitted to me...

Truth Tuesday - NWI

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Since I hit Lifetime last week, I only need to weigh in once a month so I didn't have a weigh-in this morning. HOWEVER, I think this is a bad thing for me. I need the accountability of facing the scale each week. If I know I don't have a weigh-in, I notice I let myself slide more than usual and we do NOT want that happening since I need to stay in the 153-157 range to still be considered Lifetime ... and to become a Leader. As I cheated and slacked all weekend on my eating (and somehow rationalized it to myself), I realized that I need to get back to attending weekly Weight Watchers meetings as a member. I have always found the meetings as a "me" time. I don't take a lot of time for myself - especially with my old job I just didn't have extra time - but I love devoting about 30-45 minutes a week to improving myself. Plus, while working, I catch bits and pieces of a meeting, but I don't get the added benefits of bouncing ideas around with other members.

Once I decided I had to get back to meetings - my last was January 17 in Chicago - I had to figure out a time and place. Thankfully with my schedule, I have more flexibility with choosing a meeting. I love my Tuesday 8am weigh-in and thankfully the Boston WW location is open for drop-in hours during that time so I can knock my weigh-in out then and attend a meeting whenever/wherever I want.

The other big decision to make was whether to attend the meeting of someone I know or to a complete stranger. I decided to go to a complete stranger so I could just feel like a member. Also, I wouldn't have to share that I was a WW employee unless I wanted to.

So after chatting with Elaine (my boss/Territory Manager), I decided to attend the Tuesday 10am meeting in Malden with Heather.

It was GREAT. It wasn't the normal WW crowd I am used to from Chicago or the Cubs, but the people were amazing. It was nice to sit back and really take in what Heather and the other members were saying. I also got to participate without anyone knowing who I was. I even got to finally celebrate hitting Lifetime in a meeting setting. That was fun and exactly what I imagined way back when when I started WW. :)

I was feeling so good after that nice 45 minute session of "me" time I hit up Costco and bought myself some beautiful roses ... and they were only $16! You know me - I like a good deal. ;)

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What do you have to share on this Truth Tuesday? Did you face the scale?

See Ya Later Comfort Zone

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Why would I ever leave my comfort zone?

It's all warm ... fuzzy ... safe ... familiar ... secure ... comfortable ... constraining ... impairing ...

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There have been three big times in my life that I have taken the plunge out of my zone:

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The first was 2007...

For too long, I remained in my comfortable bubble of Boston. I went to high school, college and then grad school in the Boston area. I didn't leave  Massachusetts until 2007 when I was 24 to move cross country to San Francisco. Talk about a change...

In 2007, I switched jobs (from tickets to PR) and left my hometown team of the Boston Red Sox to join the San Francisco Giants. I left my high school and college friends on the Right Coast to join the Left Coast where I only knew my uncle and his family.

I fell in love with San Francisco as soon as I got there ... and I was lucky enough to find a great group of friends right off the bat. This made the transition a lot easier.

I learned in that move that I could be independent ... and survive. I could move away from what was familiar with me and thrive. I wouldn't trade my time in San Francisco for anything.

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The second was 2008...

I lived in San Francisco for just 10 months before returning to Boston for my second stint with the Red Sox. I ended up being back in Boston for about three months before I was offered a job with the Cubs ... and off to Chicago I went in January 2008. Now the biggest difference in moving to Chicago was that I didn't really know anyone. I had two people I knew there, but other than that I was finally moving to a place where I didn't have any family to fall back on. Also, I never thought I would live in the Midwest.

Again, I was lucky enough to find a core group of friends within a week of moving (thanks to a coworker who opened his crew to me). Finding a group of people to turn to while in an unfamiliar place makes any transition easier.

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The third and most important instance was joining Weight Watchers.

I remember walking in to the first WW meeting and being scared to the core. I was going in to a new experience all by myself. I had no one with me. I was facing this big change with me. But, it is the biggest - scariest - and best decision of my life because through weight watchers I have taken my comfort zone and broken all of the walls that surrounded it. Okay, I didn't break them - I blew them up so bad they can never be repaired.

Through my first two "out of comfort zone" moves, I always had a voice in the back of my mind telling me it was a bad decision. That little voice telling me these people didn't really want to be my friends. The little freakin' voice in the back of my mind telling me I wasn't good enough to enjoy my successes. That little person sitting behind my brain telling me I should just run back to the familiar ... to head back to Boston because I wouldn't thrive. I wouldn't succeed in what I was doing.

But, then Weight Watchers stepped in to the picture. The little voice was there at the beginning. Telling me I wouldn't succeed - saying there was no way I could lose that much weight - telling me to just give up.

But, the pounds started coming off and the little voice in my head started getting smaller and softer. I will not lie to you, he is still lurking in my brain today, but the voice has turned into a squeak. It is so soft I can just poof it away...

(Note: I want to be completely honest that losing weight has not solved all of my problems. I still have a lot of issues to work through, but confidence has risen partially because of my weight loss - not solely because of.)

Since joining Weight Watchers, I have eaten foods I never imagined I would try - and even like ... I have found the confidence to start Spinning classes ... I have rekindled my love of running ... I have worn a bathing suit in public in Hawaii ... I have embraced social media and share my journey with so many through Twitter and Facebook ... I have opened my heart, mind and soul to all of you through this blog ... But, what is the most uncharacteristic thing I have done so far? I have started to accept and even love myself - imperfections at all.

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There are times I wish I could go back and show the young unhappy teenage me what I have become with a couple leaps of Faith, hard work and determination! To show the girl that wanted to just disappear that I am loud, proud and happy to be alive. To show the girl that wanted to end it all a couple times that not doing it has paid off and I have been able to share so much with the world ... and more to come.

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How will you push the boundaries of your comfort zone today? This week? This month? This year?