And ... RELAX!!

I cannot even begin to tell you how awesome my weekend was. Okay I can. But the main reason it was so great was because we had NOTHING planned. The wife and I took our first weekend away - weekend away ALONE - since moving to Boston ... and didn't make any plans for it ... besides getting out of the city. We used this last weekend as a belated Birthday celebration for Tori (she turned 32 on July 18) and headed to Camden, Maine. It is about three hours from Boston We rented a nice little cottage for a couple days - thank you LivingSocial ... and it was

GLORIOUS!!

We both had wicked stressful weeks so we were so looking forward to some downtime.

We were able to sneak out of town before noon on Friday (July 27) and headed North.

Camden is about 3 hours from Boston, but we took our time getting there. Camden is a cute little coastal town so I knew Tori would love it.

We got to our cottage and was greeted with this lovely view:

Peaceful.

After getting settled we headed down to explore the downtown ... and of course hit Happy Hour. It is vacation! ;)

After enjoying the local cuisine, it was time to get back to the cottage and call it an early night ... but not before testing out the jacuzzi, catching the Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics and enjoying an adult juice box. :P

I was wicked excited to sleep in on Saturday - but ooohhh no! My body woke me up before 6am. Why thank you internal clock - way to kick in on my off days. Sheesh!

Saturday was a nice - take it as it came - kind of day.

It started off by me kicking some booty at mini golf! Don't knock the stance, I got not one, but TWO Hole-in-Ones during the 18 hole course.

After grabbing some freakin' awesome lunch at a local establishment (I had ribs for the first time in ages and they were finger lickin' good!!), we went off to try some local vino.

We ended up at Cellardoor Winery and took part in a tasting. We were able to try six different types of wine ... and NONE disappointed.

We left the winery with 6 bottles of wine ... shocker! :O)

After the winery, I took a nap. I cannot tell you the last time I took a nap ... and it was GLORIOUS!!

It was overcast on Saturday night, but that didn't stop us from enjoying a Sunset Cruise. Well, we didn't end up seeing a sunset, but  it was so serene and peaceful on the boat that I was okay with not seeing one. Plus, being on a boat makes the wife so happy that the trip was worth it just for that.

We went out on the Schooner Olad, which normally holds 22 people - but thankfully our trip had just six people on it - so it was nice and calming. :)

We got back to land at about 9pm so we just found a local pizza joint to hit up - the guy legit sounded like Mario from Super Mario Brothers - which entertained Tori to no end.

I of course had to try the jacuzzi out again before heading out on Sunday.

Once again my internal body clock woke me up before 7am on Sunday ... so we were off early.

We grabbed our Dunkin Donuts, played some Phase 10 and packed up since we had to check out by 11am.

The great thing about driving home was that we could stop off anywhere we wanted on the way back.

So as we left Camden just before 11am - and the rain that was predicted for the whole weekend finally started to fall - we decided to make a pit stop in Ogunquit on the ride home.

Ogunquit is one of my favorite spots in Maine ... and quickly becoming one of Tori's as well. :)

So we stopped there for lunch and a quick walk on the beach - we also called this "delaying the end of vacation." :P

It was finally time to head home. Despite some traffic, we made it home before 5pm. Thank goodness. When we got home from Chicago, it was almost midnight.

The pups were excited to see us when we got home and in a snuggly mood, which made coming home just a little easier.

Even though our vacation was about 48 hours along, it was EXACTLY what we needed. Just a weekend for the two of us to get away and hang out with each other ... and RELAX!!

I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to do these sorts of adventures now ... and having built-in puppy sitters in the house!! ;)

Jerry Garcia Memorial River Run 5k - 7/26/12 - 23:00 (7:26 min/mile)

As we were driving up to the 5k Thursday night, we passed loads of people walking to the pre-race hangout area and I thought to myself how many of those people looked familiar. It is funny how you start recognizing people at races. It's like you think you knows those people, but you really don't. You just see them at all of the same races. It's like when people have the gym take the same classes or have the same schedule as you. Thankfully, I have started to chat with some of the usual runners and it is great to build/learn/meet new runners!!

---

*The Jerry Garcia Memorial River Run marked the 3rd of 5 races in the Let's Run Summer Series*

I knew this 5k would not be one of my best efforts. I was still recovering from July 22's Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon (Sunday) in Chicago when this race crept up on me on July 26 (Thursday). But, you need to complete all 5 of the races to get the free jacket in the end so nothing was holding me back from running. :)

PLUS, these races are wicked fun so I never want to miss one.

So Thursday is my busiest day at work since I lead 4 back-to-back-to-back-to-back Weight Watchers meetings from 12-5:45, but they are great groups and days are always easier when I have a 5k to look forward to.

Thankfully the race didn't start til 7:30 so I had plenty of time to come home and chill before we headed out for the run.

The weather report said we would have heavy rain and thunderstorms, but thankfully we lucked out and there wasn't any rain until we were heading out!!

We headed out over the bridge and over to the Start Line. We got there closer to the start than usual so we actually only had to wait about 15 minutes until the race started.

Before I knew it it was time to go. I felt sluggish, but I was still going to give my 100%.

It was WICKED humid, but thankfully I was used to that from Chicago. ;)

So I didn't feel as strong as usual, but I was happy to run into my friend George just after Mile Two. It really wouldn't be a 5k unless I ran into him!! He is one of those people that I kept seeing at races, we chatted on social media then we finally met up at one of the last runs!

I crossed the Finish Line at 23:00 (7:26 min/mile pace). About 33-34 seconds slower than my usual times at the Let's Run Summer Series ... but I was still A-okay with it! I mean hello, I still ran a 7:26 min/mile pace. Me!! So yes, I was happy with the results.

I finished 167 out of 995 overall and 29 out of 546 women.

I will take it!!

Afterwards, I enjoyed some music and brews with my Let's Run ladies: Vickie, Kim and the wife (aka Tori)!! :)

jerry garcia

I just wanted to note that this was the 16th of my 24 road races in 2012! CRAZY!!

Rock 'n' Roll Chicago Half Marathon - 7/22/12 - 1:51:43 (8:32 min/mile)

I was more than a little bit excited for this trip to Chicago - see this blog post for more. But in terms of the run, I was feeling it. I was feeling strong in my training runs. I was having a little bit of back soreness so I took the five days before the race off. All I did was my normal walking, schlepping and lifting for work.

Once we got the Chicago on the Friday, we did do a TON of walking - which was great. I had really missed just walking around the city.

But I digress...

We had a SUPER early flight out to Chicago on Friday morning. But the airline made up for that by somehow upgrading us to First Class - for no reason known to us - but we took it. :)

Friday and Saturday were reserved for hitting up our favorite eating locations and seeing as many friends as possible. Let me tell you we dominated in that department - seeing over 30 people in a 3-day span.

At the expo on Friday, I even got the FINALLY meet Dan (aka Cubicle Dad) after tons and tons of Twitter and Facebook time.

But, I called it an early night on Saturday night. Thankfully the wife got us a hotel close to the Start Line so I really didn't have to walk too far the morning of ... and it had a kick ASS view of the River.

Race morning I woke up at 5am. I had everything set up on Friday so I was ready wicked fast.

The wife was injured so she wasn't able to run herself, but she served as an AWESOME spectator/photographer. :)

We headed to the Start Line around 5:45. I like to get to a race at least 30 minutes before it starts to just stretch and hang out. Thankfully I didn't have to check a bag, but I did get to wait in the dreaded port-o-potty line. Ugh...

I was pretty psyched to be in Corral 8 since I think the year before I was back in Corral 20-something.

(Candid from the wife)

Things really changed in a year ... here is a pic from the same race in 2011 and 2012. I felt a lot stronger this year and had dropped over 15 lbs which helped as well ... and I wasn't just 6 months removed from back surgery. ;)

It was wicked exciting to be in a closer Corral as I was able to actually hear the National Anthem and see the elite runners take off. It was such a thrill. It also meant I didn't have to wait as long to Start. Another bonus.

It was finally time to Start ... I got those butterflies in my stomach ... But was too excited to really notice them.

Of course, the buildings downtown screwed up my Runkeeper almost immediately so it kept telling me I was running at like a 4:45 min/mile pace. Ummm yeah, I'm not Kenyan. So thanks for just making me feel bad. But, I know it is more the satellites than anything else so I just tried to use the overall timer/music more than the pace info.

Additionally, the wife was getting text updates with my location so I was planning on using her to really tell me how I was doing since my sole goal was to finish in UNDER 2 hours.

To keep the eye on the prize, I found a woman with a 1:50 pace sign on her back and tried to stick with her as long as I could.

Since it was 84 degrees at the start - and who knows the Real Feel since the humidity was through the roof - I wanted to go out strong so I could build a little buffer for later in the race when I knew I would be slightly slower (miles 6-10 where there would be no trees).

Thankfully the course is FULL of music and spectators, so motivation is always high during a Rock 'n' Roll race.

I really admired the P.F. Chang runners who ran the entire thing with a Chinese dragon.

I even found the wife a few times on the course and was able to get an action shot. :)

After this point, I actually texted her while running to try and figure out my pace.

Do you know how hard it is to run and text at the same time? :P

I was actually feeling strong throughout the run despite high temps and stopped at each and every water stop along to way to make sure I stayed hydrated ... and poured one over my head for good measure as well.

As I passed Mile 11, I realized the race directors had made a new addition to the course and it was AWESOME!

At Mile 12, it all hit me. As I trudged up the final incline towards the Finish Line that I was going to do it. I wasn't only going to do it - it being posting a sub 2-hour Half Marathon time - but I was going to SMASH it.

I started to cry.

Yup, I'm sure the runners around me were like "Who is this crazy chick?" but the whole thing hit me at once.

Wow, I - Dani Holmes-Kirk - was going to finish this Half Marathon in under two hours. Me - the girl who lost over 60 lbs. Me - the girl who ran a 12 min/mile pace when she started running. Me - the girl that used to have 0 faith in herself. Was going to accomplish this feat.

And it was A-freakin-mazing!!

Here are the official results:

I still cannot believe I did all this! For reference of how big this is to me, here are the times of my four-career half marathons:

February 26, 2006 -- Hyannis Half -- 2:20:18 August 14, 2011 -- Rock N Roll Chicago Half -- 2:12:15 January 28, 2012 -- F^3 Lake Half (Chicago) -- 2:05:40 July 22, 2012 -- Rock N Roll Chicago Half -- 1:51:43

I don't think the smile on my face could get any bigger!!

And the run can only get better with a racing medal...

I wore the medal for the rest of the day! I was too excited not to. It was great seeing other runners all over the city doing the same thing. I saw quite a few at Weber Grill, where we traditionally have lunch after the Rock 'n' Roll Half.

I cannot wait to run this race again next year - it will be the third time.

---

The moral of this race is ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. This experience reminded me that I can do anything I put my mind to if I put in the work and have the passion/desire/drive to see the results ... and you can too!

If you asked me three years ago if I would run a half marathon in under 2 hours, I would of laughed you out of Chicago. But flash forward and look what I did.

And now? Now I set my sights on the Rock 'n' Roll Savannah FULL marathon on November 3.

And I say ... BRING IT!

Chicago On My Mind...

It's pretty interesting that we are heading back to Chicago for a weekend almost six months to the day that we left. We packed up the Uhaul and headed back East on January 29 and are now heading back to Chicago on July 20 ... it's funny how the world works. I also never thought I would be looking forward to this three days in Chicago as much as I am.

And I have running to thank for it to be happening at all!! :)

---

Last year, the Rock n Roll Chicago Half Marathon marked my second-ever half and the first since February 2006 ... and to make it even more special - it was the longest race I was doing (August 2011) after having major back surgery (January 2011). Yes, less than eight months after half of my L4-L5 disc removed, I was planning on running - no dominating - the half marathon.

And I did ... well in my opinion I did. I cut about 8 minutes off my time from the first half in February 2006 and the Rock n Roll in August 2011.

Here is the recap from last year.

---

Unfortunately, the wife has suffered an injury and will be unable to run on Sunday, but thankfully she has enough other fun things planned to make the trip worth it. :)

I'm not sure why we picked such an early flight on Friday (5:50am), but it does give us three whole days in Chicago as a result.

Friday will be the day to really see as many people as possible since I will be crashing early on Saturday night.

We will be able to have breakfast with her old coworkers (a Friday tradition when she worked there), hit up the expo as soon as it opens, I can tour the new offices at Wrigley that were happening just after I left and meet as many friends as possible for Happy Hour.

Ooohhh I am smiling just thinking about all the smiles, hugs and laughter that will take place tomorrow. :)

On Saturday, the wife's parents are making the roughly 2.5 hour trek from their home to come meet up with us in the city. I think this is the longest the wife has gone without seeing her parents in quite some time so it is great they can come up and meet us.

Then Sunday is the big day!! The race starts at 6:30am and I'm hoping to get there nice and early and maybe even spot some of my Twitter friends and old coworkers that I know are running as well. Plus I just love milling around in the pre-race excitement. :)

Now I just heard that the start should be about 81 degrees. Boo! Really I am okay with it, but I know it will be too hot to wear my Superman socks that I now love so much. Well, they will still make the trek out there ... just in case!

After a cool down and some Dunkin Donuts, we will take the rest of Sunday easy ... and of course hit up the Weber Grill restaurant before heading to the airport. It is now a post Chicago Half Marathon tradition! ;)

---

My goal is to run a PR - which is currently 2:05.40 - and run my first sub 2 hour Half Marathon. Now I know the heat will play into how I run so I am not going to push myself to a limit that might cause me harm. BUT I am going to give it everything I have on that course. :)

While taking in the scenery as well. The course is all through the city of Chicago and along the Lake - one beautiful beautiful course.

---

I am also excited to see how being down about 17 lbs between the two Rock n Roll half marathons impacts my times...

It wasn't til I looked at these pictures side by side - July 2011 vs. July 2012 - that I can see how big of a difference 17 lbs can make. That is the same fuel belt in both pics, but as you can see on the left I couldn't wear it any lower because of my weight.

---

So to all, I hope you have a fantastic weekend and I cannot wait to update you all on how this weekend goes for me.

To my Chicago friends, I cannot wait to see all of you!! Be ready for lots of hugs... :)

VERT Sasquatch Trail Race (2.35 mi) - 7/15/12 - 18:59 (8:05 min/mile)

So this was my first ever trail run. Let me tell you: I have GAINED a TON of respect for people that do trail running ALL the time. WOW! It is quite a workout... I figured it was safe to kick off my first trailing running adventure with a race that was short - 2.35 miles seemed like nothing ... PRIOR to running it. ;)

I was HONORED to have the privilege of being asked to be the Captain of Team Slumbrew for the event and of course I jumped at the chance. Not only do I love their beer ... but I also LOVE the people behind it. Drink local folks ;)

They even hooked us up with these awesome tech shirts for the run...

Team Slumbrew had 12 awesome people on it. I only knew two of the people beforehand, but think we all clicked pretty well. :)

Racemenu did the timing and had awesome chips that went on the shoes. 

The run was set into three separate waves since the paths were pretty tight. Our team was in Wave One.

Like usual I didn't bother to look at the course beforehand so I had no idea where the start was or what to expect. Sometimes I kind of like the unknown of a race course since I practice on the same course all the time and know the ins and outs of it.

But anyway, we all lined up on the field across from the Stone Zoo and all of a sudden the gun went off and it was go time.

I was actually having some technical difficulties at the beginning of the race so I decided to forego listening to my music or my Runkeeper during this run. Also, I thought C'mon it's only 2.35 miles - that isn't that much.

WOAH!

2.35 miles on this trail run was MUCH different.

We started my running along the road before we headed into the woods and proceeded to run vertically for about 2 miles.

Wow.

All I kept thinking was thank GOODNESS I Spin. I got myself down into more of a squat and run barreled up the hill as best as I could. But, it there were so many rocks/tree branches/other people to watch out for.

It was definitely more of a workout than I had expected, but it was a good burning for sure. It made me realize how strong my legs have actually gotten over time.

Thanks to Alain from Racemenu for yelling at me to "smile already" so I could get this great action shot!

I was definitely breathing heavily and cursing under my breath before and after this was taken. ;) This was just after what I figured was the half way mark.

I finally looked down at my Runkeeper once I saw the long awaited downhill come into view. We were just shy of 2 miles and I was ready to be done. It was in the mid 90s and I was sweating up a storm.

I hit the downhill and just felt like a kid running free down a hill without any sort of brakes. Normally I can reel myself in on a downhill, but not this time. All I focused on doing was NOT falling down the hill and taking out the people in front of me.

Once we got to the bottom of the hill, we STILL weren't done. C'mon people. We had to sprint around the field and then would be done.

Wow! This race honestly felt wwwaaayyy longer than 2.35 miles, but it proved once again how much stronger I am thank I give myself credit.

I crossed the line at 18:59 (8:05 min/mile pace) and was 111th out of 444 and the second finisher on Team Slumbrew.

What an accomplishment.

Go Team!

We rocked it!

I even won an award - cuhlearly, not for my speed or lack there of. But for being a social media nut - Facebook and Twitter - about the race and the VERT Race Series. :) I was so surprised and honored. I got a cool VERT mug with the Slumbrew logo on it. :)

It was great to hang out with some of my twitter buddies in person:

George and I have crossed paths on Twitter, Untappd, Foursquare and on the road at races, but it took til this race to finally chat!

The same with Lexi - lots of social media, but had yet to meet in person. I wanted to thank her and her husband for giving me this sweet Untappd t-shirt!! :)

So thank you all for making my first trail run a success.

It is Wednesday and my ankles still hurt - so I know I need to keep practicing to get used to it. But, I will definitely do it again!!

---

Have you participated in a trail run/race before?

Wordless Wednesday

Boy have I missed Wordless Wednesday ... well here goes!

The cutest little lady to my join my life - Ms. Joanna Grace Gilligan. SWOON!

---

I HEART compression sleeves ... especially after a 12-mile run. Who likes that my Weight Watchers ActiveLink looks like a beeper?? :)

---

PROOF: I wore a bathing suit - 2 different ways - in public! HUGE Non-Scale Victory...

---

Everyone needs some meditation time...

Face It Friday – 0.2 lb Gain

Ladies and Gentlemen, this weigh-in shows that tracking and activity and Weight Watchers works. Why you might ask?

Well in full disclosure I weighed in June 1 at 154.8 (0.2 under goal - Woo!) and proceeded to slip up. Oh hell, eat and drink my way through June. Yup! I basically took most of the month of June off from tracking my food. I just sort of went off the Weight Watchers deep end if you will.

BUT ... I did up my activity. I am training for a half marathon so I am putting some serious miles on my sneakers and hitting up a lot of cross training.

When I checked in with myself on June 19 I had probably put on almost 5 lbs. YOWZA!! That's not good.

So I UPPED the activity and when I weighed myself at home on June 29 I had only gained 0.1 lbs from the previous home weigh in 10 days prior. Now during that time my eating was atrocious, but my activity kicked serious butt.

This my friends proves that activity can help you maintain, but you need healthy food choices + activity to = weight loss.

SOOOO on June 29 my dear friend Lindsey (who does WW online) and I decided to make July our bi-atch. Is that how you spell that? I'm not hip enough to really know that lingo. But I digress...

So after the July 4 holiday I got off my bad food wagon and hit the scale. Ooohhh that number wasn't pretty. It was literally 6 lbs heavier than my home weigh in on June 1 ... and 3 lbs over my Lifetime status range.

Oh no that wasn't gonna stop me.

I stepped into BEAST MODE.

I made the week after my bi-atch. I tracked every BLT. I measured out my wine. I weighed all my food. I blogged every food log. I upped my activity even more thanks to the extra incentive of AL (aka Active Link).

And what happened?

I weighed in this morning officially 0.2 lbs heavier than on June 1 ... and right ON GOAL - 155 even.

Yes! Woo!

But more importantly I felt AWESOME this last week. I tracked for 8-consecutive days for the first time since December 2011 and felt in control.

I felt on top of the world.

So yes, I may have slip and slided for 3 weeks, but I got myself back on track.

Why?

Because I NEVER want to go back to where I started. So even seeing how a 5 lb gain - even though most of it may have been bloating or what not - was not fun. I felt GROSS. I never thought I would be in the 150s and feel uncomfortable,

But I did.

And now ... I. Am. Back.

So yes I tripped, but before I hurled myself down the rest of the stairs. I caught myself on the railing and picked myself back up.

And THAT is what matters!

Taking A Step Back...

Sometimes the most important thing a person can do is step back from a situation and realize how freakin' strong and bad ass they really are! For me ... that happened twice during the last two days.

---

Yesterday, it was during my 12-mile run.

As many of you know, I tend to run/race a lot. Not a lot compared to some of the runners I follow on Twitter, but more than most people I hang out with ... so I have a lot of time to think during those runs.

At this point in time, I am finishing up Half Marathon training, while beginning Full Marathon training. Yeah, I am that crazy. :P

Well last week, I had a disappointing run. I had set out for 11 miles on the morning of July 4 and I only finished 7.25, Yes I know that is a good run. And yes, I know I have knocked out 14 so the mileage on that day didn't totally matter since I am ready for the Half.

But the disappointment with myself made me really realize how much pressure I put on myself. I want to "Finish Everything You Start" - which I have etched on my GoSportID bracelet - and when I don't do that I feel like I not only let myself down, but I let you all down as well.

As I wrote what happened online - feeling dizzy and my legs felt dead - people tweeted to let me know I am not the first person this has happened to and that the world would keep on Spinning if I didn't complete every mile I set out to do. Instead, it was better to listen to my body.

Wow! Hello Perspective... nice to meet you.

I just needed someone else to tell me that it is okay to Fail.

Oohhh I hate that word.

I HATE failing!

So I took a page from the Weight Watchers book and removed that F-word from my vocabulary this week.

I didn't fail at running 11 miles. I instead dominated 7.25 miles ... and went for a 4 mile run the next day to get to 11 total miles run. ;)

Fast forward to yesterday morning ... my last long run before July 22's Half Marathon was on the docket - 12 miles.

I went in to the run saying I would just take in the scenery and just enjoy the run.

And you know what ... I easily finished those 12 miles ... and more importantly enjoyed every minute of it.

I thought to myself during the run about how far I had come. How I hadn't failed because I picked myself up and tried again.

I. Am. Stronger. Than. I. Think. I. Am.

I got to my car after the run, looked in my rearview mirror and said to myself "You are amazing. That girl that never liked to run growing up - just completed a 12 mile run and enjoyed every minute of it. You even kept a sub 9-minute per mile pace. YOU did it."

Wow! I needed that. I needed to take a moment and remember ... I am bad ass. ;)

---

The second moment happened this morning...

Since becoming a Weight Watchers Leader, I haven't had a chance to attend a WW meeting as a member.

Wow! It really affected me. I got so wrapped up in helping my members that I forgot why I joined WW to begin with ... for me!

So this morning I attended my first meeting as a member since May and it was EXACTLY what I needed.

I put my WW member hat on, sat in my usual spot in the back of the meeting and took it all in.

I shared. I listened. I laughed. I got support.

But most importantly, I took that little step back ... and thought about me. Thought about my journey. Thought about how far I have come since the first time I walked into that Weight Watchers meeting.

And I once again remembered ... I. Am. Stronger. Than. I. Think. I. Am.

---

It's crazy that I was in a funk for a few weeks and two small days turned everything around. For these last two days, I stopped looking at all the shoulda, coulda, wouldas and thought about the cans, the wills and the I wants.

I thought about me.

Grateful...

Today was a time to get out of my own head. To stop fretting about the day-to-day business of life and to really look at the big picture. I guess I can do that with more ease these days now that I have more time to ponder. Yeah ... with this new life, I have A LOT of alone time. Which for some is great. For me? It is an adjustment. I like being with people. Too much alone time and I start overanalyzing life and my own thoughts. Scary, huh?

Overall, I think about the free time as a time for me. To actually listen to those voices in my head that I could more easily squash when I was working many days in a row for many hours. But now, I listen.

Free time allows me to spend more time on my fitness and focus on my running.

I have even broken out of my comfort zone and tried an intramural volleyball team...

My dad made a small comment to me the other day, but it really hit me: "Aren't you happy you have all this time for those road races?"

Yes dad. Yes I am. As I've said many a time, I never thought I would love running as much as I do now, but wow - I am so lucky to have time to run ... and icing on the cake, is having a group of friends that want to run with me. Well, races at least ;)

Still looking for marathon training buddies, if anyone is interested? I'm a good running buddy, I promise. :P

But, more so, the free time is a chance to spend more time with friends, family, the pups and most importantly - the wife. :)

Being able to make my own schedule has allowed the wife and I to even take an afternoon and drive up to Ogunquit, Maine - on a whim.

Oh New England, your beauty sucked me back in immediately!! I love this area of the country and am happy to call it home.

So thank you cosmos ... thank you for allowing my life to take the direction that is has ... thank you for giving me the time to enjoy my wife, pups, friends and families ... thank you for bringing such amazing people into my life ... thank you for dealing me this life!

Shorts - 1, Dani - 0

I couldn't believe that ONE piece of clothing would set my mind back so many steps. I have NEVER been a shorts person. I hate my legs and don't really like to show them off.

Okay, once I lost weight I started to enjoy wearing my "homo shorts" aka guy's shorts - since they were longer in length.

So I will rephrase as I do not like shorter shorts since I still have a big complex with my thighs and the size of them.

But, I am sooo jealous of all the runners out there who are shorts people. I mean I was sweating my booty off in my Lululemon capris and thought if only I had a pair of running shorts.

So I did it. There was a sale at Kohl's and I bought a pair of Tek Gear shorts.

(Non-Scale Victory Disclosure: The shorts I bought are a size Medium!! *Squeal*) 

They look wicked cute and so harmless. ;)

But, they were not. :P

I tried to wear them last Monday morning for my little 5k run and it was horrible. I was self conscious the whole time. Pulling the shorts down. Trying to get them to a position on my hips that felt comfortable ... but I couldn't get it.

Sad face. I wasn't a fan.

To me: I look at this picture and just see how big my thighs look.

That same night I was meeting a friend for Spin so I thought I would give the shorts a try there.

EPIC fail. They were uncomfortable from the moment I sat on the bike. The shorts were too short and I ended up using a towel the whole time to cover up the too much skin that was being shown.

Wow! That day put me in a funk. I felt like I had gained back all 60-ish pounds.

Now, this was my second attempt at running in shorts - the first with a pair of Lululemon running shorts - that also failed as bad as this attempt.

I have learned that I am just not a running in shorts kind of person. Which is fine. I love my Lululemon running capris and have no problem breaking them out. :)

I have embraced being able to wear the Tek Gear shorts in an around the town kind of way.

I am still uber self conscious about the shorts and my thighs, but I don't feel they ride up as much when I am casually walking around.

I know a majority of this is all in my head - losing that fat girl mentality is hard - and something that I continue to work on. But this experience just reminded me again that even though you lose weight - not all clothes will all of a sudden fit perfectly on the body ... or in the mind.

So maybe some day I will try the shorts experiment again, but for now ... I will stick to my running capris! ;)