#SaturdaySkinny: My Support System

After the last WW meeting we attended, I was feeling overall really positive of how the journey was going. My journey of getting back to feeling like my old self: balanced and strong!

Well it is as if the world felt I needed a punch to the stomach and I was immediately faced with 2-straight weeks of high anxiety, deep inner sadness and a bout of emotional eating. I was seriously feeling drained during the entire 2 weeks. During this time, I opted to skip out on the WW meeting on 26 Jan as I really just wanted a morning of sleep, self care and I didn’t want to see the scale. I didn’t want to look like I was hiding form the scale, but I just needed one freakin morning to do nothing. Luckily the wife was behind me and said it was okay to not go to the meeting.

But I took that day to try and at least reclaim tracking. I had stopped tracking for the 3 days of the highest anxiety period (23-25 Jan). I didn’t want to let the slide continue though because I knew the emotional eating wouldn’t solve anything. Our WW week starts on Saturday (since that is when we weigh-in) so with a fresh set of points, I set out to track everything the last week and try to control at least 1 thing: what I put into my mouth. I felt like everything else was out of my control during this period.

I committed to tracking - even if it was an emotional eating spiral - I’d still own it. Well that happened on Thursday (31 Jan). What I know is it would’ve been WORSE had I not weighed, measured and tracked that entire day of trying to settle my feeling of void with food.

What happened this past week shocked me. I ended the week with points left over. For those that don’t know every week since we got to Amsterdam I have been in the negative with points. That means I ate all my daily points, weekly points, fitpoints (activity) and then some. As we can see (since I have lost 15lbs/7kg) that you can go into the negative and still lose weight. But somehow this week I had points left over. That gave me a real sense of pride. I had been able to curb the emotional eating and recover.

Please note during these past 2 weeks, I tried ALL of the options in my toolkit for dealing with my emotions/anxiety, but nothing was working. It was that high a point.

So on Friday (1 Feb), I committed to going to the WW meeting and gather up the encouragement, love and support from the meeting and its members. I really didn’t care what the number on the scale said. I wanted to go through the action of stepping on the scale to put an end to the last 2 weeks and try to tell my brain and body that we are freed from the last 2 weeks of anxiety and that it is time to release what was holding me back inside.

I hopped on the home scale (well not hopped that might break it ;)) and say I was 0,4kg heavier than 2 weeks before. Okay okay I could live with that. We headed to the meeting and I was fully ready to accept the gain that I was expecting. It is just a number and you know what during a ride with Christine the week before I had that reminder. I am more than the number on the scale or as Christine said “the smaller pants size.”

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I just needed the reminder that I do the WW journey for my overall health and well-being: physically and mentally.

Time for my three positives:

  1. Owned, weighed and tracked an emotional eating day on Thursday

  2. For the first time in a year I ended the week with extra points left over (I’m always in the negative)

  3. Tried on a pair of shorts from 2017 and THEY FIT again!!

So I step on the scale at the WW Studio and you know what? I was DOWN! Ummm okay. Thanks WW scale. I will take this and quickly run away before you decide to change your mind. ;)

Total Lost: 68,2 lbs/30,9 kg (50,6 lbs/22,9 kg with WW)
Current weight: 166,8 lbs (75,7 kg)
Heaviest (recorded) weight: 235 lbs (106,6 kg)
Weight Watchers Start weight: 217,4 lbs (98,6 kg)
Goal weight: 155 lbs (70,3 kg)
Lowest weight: 150,2 lbs (68,1 kg)

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Well hot damn!! That brings me 11.8 lbs/5,4 kg to goal. It also takes me to the lowest number I’ve seen on the scale since August 2017 (166.4lbs/75,5kg). That would be to a time where I had only taken 1 trip to Amsterdam and before the monthly trips to Amsterdam/moving here. That makes the shorts comment from up above all make sense. ;) haha

To say this made me emotional is an understatement. I am feeling leaner and stronger for the first time since back in August 2017 when I finished my second half ironman. Maybe this was the breakthrough I needed to keep fighting to free that girl buried deep down inside me now.

But this doesn’t happen alone. I don’t reach milestones alone. I always have a crew/tribe/support system behind me. When I looked at the weekly handout, I was reminded how important they truly are!

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I have to thank:

  • My amazing wife who without I would not have the strength to keep starting over when I fall.

  • The fantastic support crew at the WW English meeting who know how difficult it is to keep moving forward on this journey, but also navigating ExPatLife

  • Our WW coach Thera who shows me each meeting that I can keep moving forward

  • The two people that let me text them daily for WW accountability - Linds and Margaret

  • The online community on social media that push me to keep going and remind me that I am making a difference both in my own life and those around me

I go into this week with a fuller heart and a small goal to complete 1 act of self-care each day even if it is as small as giving myself a hug.

Who is in your corner as you tackle your journey (whatever it may be)?