I never ever ever ever thought I would be writing this post. This is truly one of the most "out of my comfort zone" type posts I have ever written. This may be one of my hardest posts to actually sit down and write... Not because it holds some huge emotional revelation like other posts I have written...
Not because I have a great weight loss goal or fitness goal I hit...
But because I did something on Friday I never thought would be in my realm of possibility.
We all know my hatred and DREAD of purchasing bathing suits - I think I have that well documented on here. ;)
Well, something came over me this past week. I started thinking maybe I will go try a different type of bathing suit on. You know before they whisk them all away. Could get a good deal on one for next summer ... so I'm not wearing the same one every time. :P
So I decided it was time to try on a new style.
What? What other type could I possibly handle since I barely rock a tankini?
Yes, you people read that right.
I, Dani Holmes-Kirk, had made the decision that I would try on a bikini.
What really led to the decision? I had no idea.
Maybe I was feeling good since I was back on track with my eating and workout habits or maybe I was losing my mind before turning the Big 3-0!
But whatever it was ... I was on a mission.
Plus, I had to do it before I changed my mind.
I didn't tell anyone my game plan in case I chickened out.
My Friday started out on the normal path: home weigh-in, lead the 8am Weight Watchers meeting, drop by the bank, do my swim workout ... then I treated myself to a much-needed hair appt followed by a mani/pedi.
After fully pampering myself for a couple hours ... it was time.
I drove over to Sports Authority and headed to the bathing suit section.
I found a top and bottom combination I liked and headed into the fitting room.
The whole time my heart was beating out of my chest.
Was I really about to go THIS far out of my comfort zone?
Apparently the answer was YES!
I went into the fitting room, locked the door and prepared to see myself in a bikini.
... it wasn't the total disaster I had built up in my head.
I quickly snapped a pic and put my comfortable and comforting Lululemon outfit back on. ;)
I stood in the fitting room for a good 5 minutes just staring in the mirror and smiling.
I had faced one of the biggest demons in my mind ... and won!
I tried it on - survived - and even made the decision to buy the suit.
Now this suit may NEVER see the light of day, but I really bought it as a symbol of how far I have come in the last three years.
That bit of fabric symbolizes that despite the ups and downs throughout the journey ... no matter what I am so far from where I started.
So I bought it.
I sent the pic to a few trusted friends to get their thoughts ... and to shock them that I actually tried it on.
Their feedback calmed me down and reassured me that I was okay to be happy with what I saw in the mirror staring back at me.
Every time I look at that suit, I smile. I am so much stronger, outgoing and fearless than I was three years ago ... and I couldn't be happier.
Now, I work on my core and tightening up some of the excess skin I have from the weight loss so that maybe one day I will wear the bikini ... around the house while I clean.
Okay okay maybe I will wear it in public ... only time will tell.
But the real question that floated around in my head this weekend as I prepared to write this post was ...
Do I post the pic of me in the bikini across the web or do I keep it buried in my phone and in the phones of a select group of trusted friends?
And in the inner debate ended with this ... this wouldn't be a truly revealing post unless I braved the world and posted the pic.
So friends, here it is:
There it is ... I have now bared not only my inner thoughts, but also my pale mid-section with the world!