... is FULL of emotions! I don't even really know how to put them all into words.
I am excited.
I am nervous.
I am ready to throw up.
I am pumped.
I am honored.
I am doubtful.
I am questioning.
I am breathing.
I mean Yes I knew it was coming, but with a full weekend of festivities - I was distracted for a while. Until I crossed the finish line of the BAA 5k this morning and realized ... it's time for THE BIG SHOW now.
I sit here hugging my foam roller and Marathon Stick wondering what I got myself into. But, WHY do I keep questioning myself. I've done this whole running a marathon before. I've done all of the training since Tedy's Team kicked off the season December 1.
Why start doubting myself now?
Well, maybe it's after a weekend of being asked: "oh, where do you qualify?" Nope, nope not a qualifier. As soon as anyone asked if I was running Monday, I would immediately say: "Yes, as a charity runner" to avoid the qualifying question. For some reason it made me feel as if I wasn't worthy to be in the same room with all of the other people doing their shakeout runs or picking up their bibs.
Then last night whipped me back into shape. Last night, we attended the Tedy's Team Pasta Dinner. Sitting in the room with my 45 teammates, hearing people's stories, celebrating that the team has raised over $300,000 for Stroke Awareness - THAT made me remember why I was doing this whole thing and why I DID deserve to be running in the Boston Marathon.
It doesn't matter how fast or slow I run tomorrow, what matters is the singlet I will be wearing ... what matters is the reason WHY I am running.
Tomorrow I run for my grandparents, for Tedy Bruschi, for all Stroke Victims, for my family, for my friends and for all of you - my supporters!
I thank you all for joining me on this journey. The countless training posts, the fundraising posts and offering up encouragement when I doubted myself.
The girl that weighed 235 lbs at one time will be toeing the line tomorrow to finish the most famous marathon in the world. I didn't qualify. But I had the honor to raise awareness and money for Tedy's Team and the American Stroke Association/American Heart Association, which is more important than any qualifying time.
This one time obese girl will be putting on that Tedy's Team singlet and representing her grandparents to the best of her abilities. I will give it my all tomorrow. No matter the outcome I know they are proud of me.
OKAY NOW I'M PUMPED!!!
But since I'm me and need a goal.
What do I hope to accomplish tomorrow?
1) Finish. Seems like a simple request, but you really never know what can happen during a given race so I want to remain healthy enough to complete the 26.2 mile crusade.
2) Post a time sub 4 hours. This was my goal for the Rock 'n' Roll Savannah Marathon in November 2012 (my 2nd marathon) and I accomplished it then (3:58:49) so I would like to do that again if I can.
3) PR - 3:55. This is a dream, but keeping it as a possibility based on my previous training runs. If I could keep a steady 9:00 min/mile pace, I would post a 3:55:48, which would be a 3 minute PR. I would take that for sure!!
4) PR - 3:51. I could attain this if I kept an average pace of 8:50. Definitely a possibility if I find people with a similar pace to mine. I always run better when I have a partner who is faster they I am. Why? Well I always doubt my speed and having someone with me pushes me.
5) PR - 3:50 or less. A girl can Wish Upon A Star, ya know?
Now that I have released the thoughts swimming around my head, I can get back to relaxing, having a yummy dinner (mmm carbs!) and head to bed early. How can I sleep on a night like this? My sweet little friend Tylenol PM. I need a full night sleep so I will be trying to dose off by 8/9.
So thank you again for being a part of my journey. I cannot believe it all culminates tomorrow. But, I know you will all be with me every step of the way!!
I leave you with Flat Dani, who is ready to Sparkle her way through The Boston Marathon!