For some reason today was a tough day. I really don't know why. I woke up and felt like a truck ran me over. My wife thinks it was a "second day hangover" from an exceptionally long day on Sunday, which included over 4 hours in the car.
Maybe that was it.
Or maybe it was something else.
I just felt off all day.
I made a comment how I wish I could just hide in my bed all day snuggling with the pups. How could I not - look at those faces!
Okay old pic, but still.
They can brighten any day.
But I didn't have time. I had three Weight Watchers meetings today and if I don't show up 1) members are upset and 2) I don't get paid.
I truly think at the heart of the matter is that I am tired.
I am trying to make the best of my life, but wearing myself out at the same time.
It is very very hard to take a day off from Weight Watchers since 1) I lead so many meetings finding coverage is usually impossible, 2) I feel bad if I have to reschedule a meeting and 2) I lose out on money if I take a day off.
So taking a day off during the week is nearly impossible.
Now I am not complaining - even though it sounds like I am. I like my job and am lucky with the flexibility, but sometimes I miss being in an office and having sick days/reasonable number of vacation days that were easy to use.
Which leaves the weekends for me to relax.
Wellll not so much if I am always on the go for races and training runs.
Again, not complaining. Most of the time I am signing myself up for these things, but I love doing them. I love lacing up the sneakers, meeting new people and pushing my body to a level it doesn't thin it can go to.
But either way it is taxing.
I honestly can't remember the last time I had an entire day off from work or training.
I need to learn how to build those in, but for now I need to make the most of the little downtime I do have.
I must force myself to go to bed earlier - even though I have blogging/emails/tweets/etc to respond back to.
Those can wait.
I need to start putting myself first.
I am the best at asking how others are doing. My members. My readers. My friends. My family.
But I forget to check in with me.
It isn't until I get pushed past the point of exhaustion that I realize "Wow I need a break."
Before my blog I wouldn't have allowed myself to own these feelings.
I mean I do not work long hours anymore. I do not work 100 days straight anymore. I left that lifestyle behind.
But it's like I am making up for it now. I am trying to jam as much fun as possible into my schedule.
I may be paying the price now.
It may not happen until November, but I promise that as soon as I can I will take 1 day completely to myself.
In the meantime, I will keep pushing to figure out where I need to make a change...