Something I truly feel on a daily basis for the accomplishments and changes I have made over the past few years.
Soooo why do I continuously discredit those same accomplishments?
I don't want people to think I am full of myself. I don't want to be considered vain.
Yes, I still think entirely too much about what people think of me.
Having low self-esteem most of my life has gotten me really good at wanting to be a people pleaser.
I always thought if they liked me then I would be able to somehow use that to start liking myself.
I like the core person I was - good friend, loyal, caring, kind, etc - but I focused too much on the outside and letting the weight dictate how I really felt about myself.
So now that I have this little slice of the internet and I share my story - good, bad, ugly - some of the self doubt and worry creep back to the forefront.
I share my accomplishments to show others they CAN do things they didn't think possible.
I open up about the struggles to show I am human and not perfect.
BUT, after receiving a few comments saying I had gotten too vain I was crushed.
I turned to my wife and friends seeking their opinion.
Had I changed? Why couldn't I be happy and share the wonderful things that were happening?
At no point do I try to say I am better than anyone else, we are all on different journeys - which should be celebrated.
I think it is an issue for a lot of people that run pages like ours. Maybe because of comments we might have got about being vain when we share a proud moment. But we should be proud and for every 1 person that thinks you are vain, you are inspiring hundreds more.
I have been putting myself and my accomplishments down for too long.
No longer will I share something and immediately follow it up with an apology for it.
As someone noted yesterday, there is a difference between vanity and pride.
I choose to focus on Pride.
And maybe someday I will be able to stop caring SOO much about what others think and more about what I think!
Anyone else struggle with this?