One month. A lot can happen in one month's time. For me it has been a complete overhaul on the life I knew for the last two years.
Leading Weight Watchers meetings had me always on the move - not only going from meeting to meeting, but it gave me the flexibility to work out often. I could hit the gym or the pavement when no one else was there to bother me.
Oh 11am swim pool to myself- sure thing.
Bang out 5 miles at 3pm on a Wednesday afternoon - why not.
That all came to a crashing halt when I returned to an office job.
I've been nervous about this impacting my fitness and weight loss goals ... and it has.
And not in a good way.
My Fitbit and Weight Watchers Activelinks aren't happy with me.
I'm not happy with myself.
I just feel ... blah!
I've been trying all of the suggestions I give to other folks that have office jobs. I mean in case you didn't know - I am not the only person who works 10 hour days, is training for a marathon and trying to lose weight. So I know there are folks out there doing that ... and more!
So why haven't I shared these feelings before?
Because I was lying to myself that I had my sh%t together.
In case you aren't picking up on it - I don't.
I am struggling.
The decrease in workout time and flexible schedule is messing with my mind and my confidence. For anyone that follows me on other social media channels - Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc - I think you have picked up on that lately.
This is the longest stretch of struggling that I have experienced since starting my healthy lifestyle change in 2009. So it is making me feel like a failure. I mean I bawled HARD on my run Tuesday morning. Thinking that I have let everyone down because I don't have everything figured out.
But guess what ... not everyone does? Did you know that?
It was news to me. :P
This is a learning process. The job hours won't change. The training for a marathon or Half Ironman won't change. The desire to lose weight won't change.
(Note: I am not trying to lose a ton of weight - just maybe an additional 3-5 lbs. I love my goal weight of 155.)
So what has to change ... me!
Here is the latest plan of attack:
1) I will stop lying to myself that everything is okay. That is how I got into the mess of being 235 lbs to begin with.
2) I will share. I have always been open in this blog space and that starts by Point 1 - being honest with myself.
3) I will ask myself "Will this get me to my ultimate goal?" when faced with the free snacks at work. Don't get my wrong I am grateful for free lunch and free snacks, but not all of that is really on my plan.
So game plan 34634783 since starting the new gig begins. What is the biggest positive I can take out of this? I keep recognizing the triggers and warning signs - and wanting to change them.
THAT shows me that this shall pass and I will overcome this struggle.
Who has faced a similar situation? What has helped you make the adjustment?
I will leave you with a great sentiment brought up at my Weight Watchers meeting on Monday Night by a member Erin:
"Life isn’t about figuring out what to do. The real challenge is simply doing the things we know we should be doing."