It's no joke I've been hiding.
I shared that in a post yesterday.
So in my hiding I also steered clear of the scale. Ignorance is NOT bliss my friends. I kept telling myself to face what is going on. It would help snap me out of the funk.
But I didn't listen.
This morning it was time to take back my journey, which meant stepping on the scale.
It wasn't about the number on the scale. It was about taking the inner turmoil away. I had been beating myself up over choices and that played with my psyche.
Stepping on the scale takes the ... wait for it ... weight off my shoulders!
I felt lighter after writing my post last night.
This morning I wanted to feel lighter from the guilt of veering off my weight loss journey.
I knew the number wouldn't be pretty, but I needed to see it.
And there it was.
173.4. A decade (170s) I haven't seen in years...
Current weight: 173.4
Heaviest weight: 235
Weight Watchers Start Weight: 217.4
Goal Weight: 155
Lowest Weight: 150.2
Ugh. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. I wanted to binge eat. I wanted to throw as many calories in my mouth as possible.
The guilty thoughts ran through my head:
- How could I have let it get this bad?
- How did I let my healthier habits slip?
- How could I stop putting my health #1?
But I know. There are no hidden secrets.
Today is a new day. I don't have to wait until Monday to start. I can start today.
Because I am worth it.
So like before I will pick myself. Get back to basics. Release the inner guilt. Work back to the "me" I miss.
But first I need to go track my dinner...