Anyone else play imaginary scenarios over and over in your head?
Lose sleep over thinking about what you didn't accomplish during the day?
Lose sleep over thinking about what you did accomplish during the day, but wonder if it was done right?
Do you count your shoulda, coulda, wouldas instead of sheep when trying to fall asleep?
Well, I yell a big HELL YEAH to them all.
I've always been a worrier and while I try to not worry it's a tough habit to break. Especially when you worry for everyone around you as well.
Oh or someone tells you: "Stop worrying so much!"
Thanks that is totally calming my nerves and not making me worry about how obvious my worrying is.
Hello endless cycle of worry! Hello!
So instead of playing these worry videos over and over in my head, I decided to just write them out tonight and see if it helps.
Sometimes you just need to remind yourself what you are worrying about is extremely insignificant! Right?
1) Laney's Upcoming Surgery
Our poor little pup is going under the knife again.
This pup really likes going to Angell Memorial Hospital. :P Two ER visits in a month timeframe in addition to her monthly visits for her DOCP shot to keep her Addison's Disease in check.
Well we learned last week that she will need to have ACL surgery on Thursday, June 22. Poor thing won't be able to be active for 8 weeks while she recovers. That means no ball playing for her, which is her life.
So not only have I been worrying over her health and wellness, but of course paying for the surgery as well. There is no chance we wouldn't do it, but now I go into freakout mode and wanting to cancel everything we've planned for the year. That's not realistic since well we already paid things off, but that is how the brain is working.
I know it will all work out and just need to breathe. The bills will be paid and the pup will sail through surgery. She has a great surgeon and everyone at Angell Memorial is aware of her medical history so they will be there if she needs anything.
Please keep Laney in your thoughts next Thursday!!
2) Sounding Vain Or Braggy
This is something that has led to a few anxiety attacks over the years.
This topic will lead to a separate blog post about stopping myself from quantifying or apologizing for any success I may have.
There have been a few times over the years since starting this blog and sharing my journey on social media where people have told me I sound van or braggy when talking about a workout success or a race outcome.
In my head I never felt that way so once it was brought to my attention it was all encapsulating.
I love sharing my highs and my lows with you all. We have to know there will be both good and bad days, fun and painful races so that when we do have one bad run, we know we can rebound the next day.
So when I had two awesome successes in my fitness journey - PR at Flywheel (347) and taking 2nd in my age group (1st since the girl that was 1st was 2nd overall & you can't place in both categories - I posted about them on social media then went into full internal panic!
Next move after internal freakout?
Start quantifying how the success happened.
"Oh I placed in my age group because all of the super speedy folks must've been doing the Olympic while I did the Sprint."
Friend: "Congrats on finishing first!"
Me: "In my division! I don't want people thinking I'm saying I was first in the whole race."
Friend: "STOP IT!"
You are right friend! You are right!
It's okay to be proud of yourself! I say that to my friends all the time, but don't take my own advice.
Also I can't let a few people's comments stop me from celebrating how far I've come since the start of my weight loss and fitness journey.
People are going to say and think whatever they want. I shouldn't let them effect how I see myself and my accomplishments.
Me worrying over their opinions won't change their opinions!
Seems quite obvious, huh? Why does it take so long to get through my damn skull?!?!?!
But as I said, this topic is going to be a longer blog post soon!
3) Being Enough
If you've read my blog for any amount of time, you know self-love and self-confidence if something I struggle with the most.
Feeling like I'm enough is something I worry about often, but recently it is reaching a boiling point.
Am I enough of a:
- Fitness Enthusiast (I can't bring myself to write athlete right now)
The worry cycle was so high the other day the above list went scrolling through my head on such a loop that I ended up in tears.
Again I know all I can do is try my best.
Those that are special to me will understand and if they don't then they aren't meant to be part of my journey. Understanding that is a tough pill to swallow, but the only way to help reduce the endless worry and allow my brain to enjoy the present.
Ahhh I knew it. Writing it out helped. Now over worrying won't stop tomorrow, but reminding myself these things are not the end of the world and working on my breathing/"me" time will be the baby steps I need to take to one day get there.
PS: Now I am worrying that I just sound like a complainer. It's okay self. It's okay!
Do you struggle with over worrying?