Face It Friday: A NWI & Eating Disorder Triggers 9/12/14

For the first Friday since June 13, I did not step on the scale. I wasn't mentally in a spot to see the number on the scale. Whether it was going to be a loss, maintain or a gain, I didn't want my week defined by it.

This past week was a HUGE win for my fitness journey. I finished my first Half Ironman and it really was unbelievable.

photo 5 (68)

But the post-race blues set in on Monday... the snacking increased. I took a rest week this week to let the body heal a little, which left me with a lot of time on my hands. Stupid snacks.


I learned a lesson for the next time. Food is not the answer. I will need other things to fill the time during a rest week.

I also allowed the beer to creep into my weekdays. All summer I had stuck with the #drinkend (adult drinks on weekend only), but let that slide this week.

I tracked it all. Owned all the choices.

And I had a victory ... I didn't purge.

For those that don't know, I was in a very bad place with eating disorders for many years. When I overeat or overindulge, the urge to purge can rear its ugly head. So it happened this week. But I didn't give in. I held strong.

I am worth more than the disease. I am not defined by the disease.

I wish I could just snap my fingers and have it go away from my brain, but I can't. So each day is a battle to win. But again I am worth the battle.

I didn't like how it felt being back in that position. It has been since December that I really felt the urges this strong, but this time I didn't cave. Thanks to friends who allowed me to reach out to them when I needed the support.

If you are ever feeling alone or a need to talk, please reach out to me!! I am always here to lend an ear.

But today is a new day. This is a new week ... that includes my birthday!

So I know that this week again I will enjoy, celebrate and track it all. One week, one meal, one decision doesn't  define the journey!


How do you handle the post-race blues?